I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
