I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
