i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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