You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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