awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
