My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
