You made me cry and you don't even care
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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