Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
