I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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