I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
