Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
