people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
