sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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