DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
