Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize