I looked at my own cervix.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
