I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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