make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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