Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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