is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
