I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
