I wish I only lived at night.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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