Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
