Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
