Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
