i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
