I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we're making bets on your personal life
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
