Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize