He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
