I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
