I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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