i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
