On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
