everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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