We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
