I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
