wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
