I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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