All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
