and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
