peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
