So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You're breaking my sexual little heart
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize