We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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