THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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