Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
