So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize