The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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