I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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