My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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