I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
