if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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