Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
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