Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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