fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
handjob tips. give me some.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
