Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
