I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do vagina's smell?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
