But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
