I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize