I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
