I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize