We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
